Seasonal Depression

Seasonal Depression, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you’re like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody.

Thank you Google. What would I do without you?

Seasonal Depression day and night

When I was in high school, I was in group counseling with a few other girls who had similar “problems” as me. We called it “Girls Group” to make us feel a little better about ourselves. I was 16 when I figured out I had seasonal depression. I would always wonder why I got really sad during the fall/winter. My grades would drop, I would be in a crappy mood and I would constantly be sad.

All my life it was that way. I thought it was normal to feel that way. It is, but not continuously for four months until Spring came. My parents, teachers, and even my one friend would notice a difference in me. I would go from always being energetic and wanting to do things to sleeping all the time and never leaving my house. Any motivation I had to do anything left my mind and it felt like the life was sucked out of me. I became a walking zombie from November until March.

Guess what. It’s December.

 “Hello depression, lovely to see you again,” said nobody. 

Seasonal Depression meme

Now that I’m not in school or anything, it hasn’t been too bad. This is the second year of dealing with it without being in school. I can handle it better because I don’t have to stress myself out so much, but now I can lock myself away for days at a time. Which isn’t much better.

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I know I like to joke around on here and make fun of myself, but out of all seriousness, this is something I do suffer from. And it gives me a pretty hard time around this time of year. This is something I’m very insecure about and have a hard time opening up about. But having a platform like this I feel like I need to talk about it not just so people know about me, but they know they aren’t alone. There’s others out there and there’s help available. I am one of the people who don’t have it extremely bad, but others can have it quite worse than me.
So I’m asking all of you, if you know somebody who seems depressed or is having anxiety, sit down with them or text them. A simple “Hey”, or “How are you today?”, can go a long way and change the outlook on somebody’s day. You could be the reason somebody doesn’t commit suicide that day. Sometimes you don’t know everything a person is going through. You don’t know what it’s like to walk in their shoes. So BE KIND to everybody you see.  💙

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Christmas Walk | Day 3

Each year in this little town, there’s a Christmas walk. All the small businesses (Library, pharmacy, hardware store etc.) are open and you can go in there and get cookies and other sweets that I don’t need to be eating. Lord only knows I need more candy.

Of course, I was with my best friend Carly (Jimmy to some of you), and Andrew. We cause trouble everywhere we go.

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Christmas walk 2

We went to the firehouse and had soup. Her baby, Phoenyx slept the whole time. Carly decided to be a little festive and wear some reindeer antlers. She also had to ask me if Vixen was one of the reindeer. Yes Carly, Vixen is a reindeer.

There was a hay rack ride…. this happened.

Christmas walk 4

 

We’re all still children on the inside. No denying that.

Overall it was really fun. There was a fire so I wasn’t extremely cold. I saw a lot of my family and friends. After the Christmas walk I spent the night bowling (yes, I went bowling with a broken rib) with my best friends.

Blogmas

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Snow

Snow is a big part of the end of the year here. It signifies the beginning of winter, saying a final goodbye to the warm weather of the summer and saying hello to a few months of brutally cold weather. Christmas is on it’s way. Not to mention it gets dark super early now. Then here comes the seasonal depression. I’ll save that for a later post.

The first snow has always given me a sense of happiness. Seeing the first flurries of snow fall from the sky makes me want to run outside and enjoy the snow, then come inside and drink hot chocolate. After awhile the cold gets annoying and I want the summer heat back. But I’m one of the fortunate ones who gets all four seasons… and gets them hard. This is what I’m talking about:

Monday: 70 Degrees, sunny.

Tuesday: 55 Degrees, tornadoes.

Wednesday: 60 Degrees, sunny but windy.

Thursday: 42.8 Degrees, cloudy, getting sick from the sudden temperature changes.

Friday: 30 Degrees, sunny.

Saturday: 20 Degrees, snowstorm, dying of pneumonia from the cold.

Time to pack my bags and move to Cali!

Okay, that might have been a little exaggerated, but that’s what it feels like.

As much as I hate all the sporadic temperature changes, it’s nice to be able to experience all four seasons. I couldn’t imagine a winter without snow. That seems so unreal to me. Which makes the think of the song that goes “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas”. I don’t really have to dream of a white Christmas. It has always been a thing.

I love snow. I love building snowmen, having snowball fights, making snow angels, and simply watching the snow fall onto the ground while sitting in my warm house. But, I DO NOT like the cold weather. I’m a little 100 pound girl. I have absolutely no fat on my body to keep me warm. So most of the winter I can’t feel my fingers or toes. I have a space heater in my room because it’s too cold for me. Even thinking about the cold makes me cold. Being cold is a small price to pay when you get to wake up in the morning to a winter wonderland.

This year will be the first time Smokey, my 10 month old kitten will get to see snow. It snowed here once this year, a week before Thanksgiving. He got to see it. The snow didn’t stick to the ground, or last very long, but he looked so cute looking at it.

Ain’t he just the cutest little thing?

Blogmas

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December 1st: Blogmas Day 1.

I’ve been watching Vloggers on Youtube for awhile now. (Just like blogging, just a video instead of writing). Each year, some of them do this thing called Vlogmas, where they Vlog everyday. Well, instead of doing that, I’m going to do Blogmas.

I’ve been blogging since March of 2017. Never have I written a blog every day for 25 days straight. This is completely new to me. Normally I post twice a week. Monday and Thursday. Sometimes if an important event happens during that week I’ll write about it and post an extra blog.

I’ve heard it’s pretty hard trying to find something to write about every single day. It also takes up a lot of time and energy, but I’m up for it. Give me a challenge and I’ll do my best! I think if you’re up for this challenge you should try it out. I think it’ll be a really good experience and really get my brain thinking every single day. I’m a pretty lazy person so I think this will be quite hard at times.

So here we go!

I’ll start off this first post by giving you all a little update. I have bronchitis still. I’m slowly getting better. I went to the doctor the other day and they gave me some antibiotics. Also, I fractured my rib. Apparently, if you cough to hard, you can break a rib. Didn’t know that. So now every time I cough from the bronchitis my rib stings in pain. It’s all just a bad deal, but I’ll make it. I’m still determined to post every day so don’t worry!

Let Blogmas begin! 💙

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7 Days of Black & White

Guess who’s back… back again. Abby’s back. Don’t tell anybody because I’m a loser…. Just kidding! Anyways… I’m in a very good mood because I decorated my room for Christmas today (tour coming later). A few days ago a super talented blogger told me to do this black and white challenge. Here’s her blog: Right Here!!! (Go read it! Santa’s watching…)

So without further hesitation, here’s 7 pictures I took in two days because I don’t follow the rules (Just kidding I was just being lazy).

Black & White 1Black & White 7Black & White 3Black & White 4Black & White 5Black & White 6Black & White 2

There we have it! Which picture is your favorite? Let me know in the comments 💙

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Life Update.

Life.jpg

I haven’t blogged all week and this post is to tell you why. My life is a shit show.

I’ll start with this. I’m sick. I went from having tonsillitis to getting bronchitis. I can’t go more than two minutes without coughing up a lung. It’s gotten to be very annoying and I don’t know how much more of it I can deal with. I keep waking up in the middle of the night coughing and it’s NOT okay.

Next, my anxiety is supper high. I swear I’m going bald. My hair is falling out and it’s a mess. I have acne and I feel like a potato. I’m defiantly living my best life.

This week was also Thanksgiving so I was pretty busy eating and spending time with my family. The day before Thanksgiving was Andrew’s 19th birthday. (He’s old as hell).  

Now that I’ve taken a week to gather myself and gain 30 pounds of pure turkey and stuffing, I’m feeling much better. So now I’m back and better than ever… somewhat. But I’m managing.

There’s a little life update. I’ll be back on Monday 💙

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Fighting at an Arcade/Bowling Failure

My Saturday night… Normally I have pretty normal Saturday nights. Last night we hectic though. I’m still worn out haha.

Normally, a regular Saturday starts off with me waking up at the same time I do everyday. 9am. Then I spend 15 minutes deciding which kind of coffee I want to make with my Keurig (I’m obsessed and I have a problem). After I drink my coffee and tell my mom all about my Friday night I take a shower, get ready for my day and make Andrew lunch. At night we go bowling with our friend Nick. We’re getting pretty good guys. I can get over 100 points now.

Well, last Saturday night was a little different. A new arcade/pool/bowling place opened up at a mall close to us, so we decided to go check it out because apparently it’s the best arcade in central Illinois. I have no opinion on that. I don’t go to arcades, nor am I a gaming nerd.

Andrew, Nick, Sam and I were playing air hockey (cause we’re cool kids) and these two guys must have started fighting about something. Next thing I know there’s a hundred people running past me, joining the fight, and knocking people out. The cops came, everybody chilled out and everything returned back to normal like nothing ever happened. Damn kids.

We went back to what we were doing. I was destroying everybody at air hockey when all of our friends and family members were texting and calling us saying there was a shooting where we were. I didn’t hear a gun shot. If I heard a gun I would’ve been long gone. They were asking us where we were, if we were safe, the usual things people ask when things like this happens. We were all fine. Nothing extremely bad happened and thank the Lord for that. It really made me wonder “What would happen if there happened to be a shooting then. What would I do?” That thought was short lived because we left and went to a bowling alley miles away from that place.

It’s a tradition to play pool when we get to the bowling alley. For some odd reason we always end up getting there too early, I guess we get a little too excited. So we pass the time by playing pool. I’m not good at pool. I suck. Really bad. But I still beat Andrew once and Nick. (Nick hit the 8 ball in on accident so I won without really doing anything). 

When it comes to bowling, I’m decent. I’m definitely a bowler in training haha. I can’t lift anything above the 6 pound ball and I break a nail every time. Last night I wasn’t too bad though. I scored over 100 on 4 out of 5 games. I only fell down once.. maybe twice. We all had little slips though. Except Nick. He totally ate it and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life.  (The first game was a practice round).

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So that pretty much sums up my very crazy Saturday night. I really don’t get out much. I slept in until 10 today and went to Taco Bell for lunch. I’m really living the life.

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