I know I talk about the weather a lot, but it’s something that has a huge impact on my mood and how I mentally deal with things. In the winter, I’m so much more lazy than in the summer. When the sun is out and it’s warm I’m so productive and happy, while in the winter I sit around and do absolutely nothing. Hence why I didn’t post for two months. It’s not that I’m a lazy person, I am though but that’s not the point. The point is that the weather jacks with my motivation levels so much. Lately, I’ve had no motivation at all. It’s to the point where I’m having trouble doing the simplest things like taking water bottles out of my room, folding my laundry and even combing my hair. My mind is telling me to go out and do something fun, but when I walk outside and it’s freezing I give up hope and once again waste my day away watching tv and scrolling through Facebook.
Right now it’s borderline winter/spring. Spring is coming up and we get glimpses of it every so often, but it’s quickly overshadowed by winter, reminding us that it’s still here and isn’t going anywhere just yet. It’s like winter keeps dragging on and on and quite frankly I’m sick and tired of it dragging on. If we could speed this process up that would be great. I’ve tried so hard to be patient, but I’m at the point where I can’t be patient anymore. I’m like a little kid going into a candy store. Super excited and can’t wait to dive into everything and then sit back and enjoy.
Daylight savings time is coming up later this month. Don’t ask me what day because I don’t know. It’s on a Sunday. That’s all I know about that. Other than that I know it’s going to be lighter outside longer and I’m just holding on to all of what’s left of my mental state until then. I know that when that day comes I’ll start getting so much better. I just need to hold on till then. I tell myself that every single day. It gets hard though. Especially because this is one of the most mentally unstable winters I’ve had in my life. I’m 100% over it and ready to walk outside without losing feeling in my fingers. I’ve even brought out my spring candles already to try to lift my spirits. I’ve tried to keep myself busy doing things inside, but my mind is screaming “I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE! LET ME OUT!!”
I’m watching the news right now and they said it’s supposed to snow overnight and wake up with freezing cold temperatures. Oh boy. I’m not excited for this and I’m on the verge of completely losing my shit.
The day will come. Hopefully soon.