*This is a series of dumb things my friends and I say*
Friend: Im gonna go home, eat some chicken nuggets and blow my brains out.
Me: I thought you said “I’m gonna go home, eat some chicken nuggets and blow myself”.
Kodee: Abby, your hair looks like onions.
Jordan: I’m going to McNut all over this McNugget.
Coleen: *Hears shocking news* SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!
Me: *Gets up, runs over to the front door and shuts it*.
Jordan: Dude you can Snapchat yourself!
Jordan: Damn, I left myself on read.
*We stayed up all night and we were kinda loopy*
Matt: Why do I keep saying free shavacado in my head?
Me: Ummm because I was running around Walmart at 3 in the morning screaming that at random people.
Matt: oh…. I’m done.
Me: It feels grand out.
Kodee: It smells like pussy water.
Austen: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
*A few moments later*
Austen: Shut your whore mouth.
Me: *Talking about how emotional I’ve been*
Jeb: *Playing Minecraft not paying attention to me* Why can’t I go down this fucking ladder?!