I Miss You

Sometimes I wonder if I miss you as a person or all the memories we’ve had together. 

I find myself asking that question a lot. Do I miss you? Do I just miss the memories? Or is it a combination? I honestly have no idea.

My first love, my best friend, my everything at one point in time. Two years of our lives spent together. Everything disappeared. The feelings faded away. Now it feels as if we’re strangers. Even sitting next to you feels like we’re a thousand miles apart.

A person I used to know every detail about, every little detail. I knew you and you knew me. We were inseparable. Staying up all night texting, getting lost in the conversation at 3 am.  The excitement I got hearing one of your favorite songs as my ringtone when my phone lit up with your name on it every few minutes.

As the sun came up we both went into a peaceful sleep, only to wake up six hours later. The texting resumed right where it left off. Making plans to hangout, cruising down country roads, listening to your favorite songs with the windows down. We could sit in silence enjoying each others presence without it being awkward.

Hanging out with our friends late at night, McDonald’s runs, and all the little jokes we shared. I wished the time we spent together would never end.

All good things come to an end. 

Now we’re practically strangers. We went from knowing everything to knowing nothing. Confiding our secrets in each other ceased. The adventures, the jokes, the late night texting conversations and the countless hours spent together are now just memories in my head. We talk sometimes, but it isn’t the same. We’ve changed.

We’ve been through our share of fights. Days turned into weeks without talking because we’re both too stubborn to apologize. It tore us apart. Our own stupid immature mistakes.

Someday I wish we can be close again like we used to. You’re a closed book now. I know deep in my heart nothing will be the same as it used to be between us. God has a path for the both of us. Only he knows if we’re meant to be in each others lives.

Lately I’ve been asked what my biggest regret in life is. I had trouble coming up with one but now I see its clear. My biggest regret is letting us become strangers. 

As I used to tell you every day, wether you’re in my life or not, I’ll still care about you. I’ll be here forever if you need your friend. I don’t know if you’re going to read this, but if you do, I have a message for you: I miss you. 

14 thoughts on “I Miss You

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  1. <3 <3 The heart is often stronger than the head, but sometimes you have to let your head win because your heart sees only the present, not the future. It might hurt for a long time, but you'll be happier for much longer after the pain has passed and you can see clearly again. I'm here for you until then <3 <3

  2. Breakups are rough. I’ve only been in love once, and we broke up six years ago. It was a toxic relationship and knowing that I deserved better is what helped me move on, but sometimes even now I have trouble grasping the thought of it. Like I still can’t believe that things didn’t work out the way I envisioned. We haven’t talked since the day we broke up, so we are complete strangers now. I’m sure we’ve both changed, so it’s kind of weird thinking about that.

    1. Yeah I’ve been through plenty of breakups. But this was actually more of a best friend breakup… In my opinion I think those are sometimes worse than boyfriend/girlfriend breakups. Both are still pretty rough though. I know how you feel though. It was a toxic friendship and I am completely moved on now. I know my worth and I have realized how I deserve to be treated. 💙

    1. Thank you so much! You’re a great writer as well. I love reading what you post. This is an amazing way for me to express my feelings. I’m doing extremely well as this point. Each day gets better and better! 💙

  3. I’ve had friends come and go (as a matter of fact, I just wrote a post on it), I always miss them and wonder if they miss me too…. I really enjoyed reading your post. It helped me see that I’m not the only one who feels like this. Thank you so much for sharing!

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