I Miss You

Sometimes I wonder if I miss you as a person or all the memories we’ve had together. 

I find myself asking that question a lot. Do I miss you? Do I just miss the memories? Or is it a combination? I honestly have no idea.

My first love, my best friend, my everything at one point in time. Two years of our lives spent together. Everything disappeared. The feelings faded away. Now it feels as if we’re strangers. Even sitting next to you feels like we’re a thousand miles apart.

A person I used to know every detail about, every little detail. I knew you and you knew me. We were inseparable. Staying up all night texting, getting lost in the conversation at 3 am.  The excitement I got hearing one of your favorite songs as my ringtone when my phone lit up with your name on it every few minutes.

As the sun came up we both went into a peaceful sleep, only to wake up six hours later. The texting resumed right where it left off. Making plans to hangout, cruising down country roads, listening to your favorite songs with the windows down. We could sit in silence enjoying each others presence without it being awkward.

Hanging out with our friends late at night, McDonald’s runs, and all the little jokes we shared. I wished the time we spent together would never end.

All good things come to an end. 

Now we’re practically strangers. We went from knowing everything to knowing nothing. Confiding our secrets in each other ceased. The adventures, the jokes, the late night texting conversations and the countless hours spent together are now just memories in my head. We talk sometimes, but it isn’t the same. We’ve changed.

We’ve been through our share of fights. Days turned into weeks without talking because we’re both too stubborn to apologize. It tore us apart. Our own stupid immature mistakes.

Someday I wish we can be close again like we used to. You’re a closed book now. I know deep in my heart nothing will be the same as it used to be between us. God has a path for the both of us. Only he knows if we’re meant to be in each others lives.

Lately I’ve been asked what my biggest regret in life is. I had trouble coming up with one but now I see its clear. My biggest regret is letting us become strangers. 

As I used to tell you every day, wether you’re in my life or not, I’ll still care about you. I’ll be here forever if you need your friend. I don’t know if you’re going to read this, but if you do, I have a message for you: I miss you. 

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