All my life I’ve been an introvert. I had a very small group of friends in high school whom I trusted and felt comfortable around. I went to the high school in my hometown which was small. All four years I went there the average number of kids in the building was about 230. I only had about 50 kids in my class. The amount of students in the classroom ranged from five to about 25. It wasn’t bad, but to an introvert like me it was like being surrounded by a sea of people. Since it was such a small school, everybody knew everybody.
Ever since Pre-K I was shy. I wouldn’t talk much and nobody really talked to me. I didn’t mind it though. I liked being along with my thoughts. In high school I would talk to my few close friends everyday. I didn’t really talk to anybody else unless I absolutely had to. I sat on the sidelines and watched everybody from a distance. I never got invited to parties, but I didn’t mind that. I would rather sit at home or hangout with a few close friends than go to a party where I don’t know many people. Now that I’m out of high school I don’t talk to many people at all. I have my friends but I don’t keep up with pretty much anybody who was in my class.
I’m the type of introvert where being around a lot of people physically and mentally wears me out. I can go to a party where I know everybody but at the end of the night be so physically drained that I need to take the next day to be completely alone and have my thoughts to myself. During that time I like to go on walks around town and listen to music to clear my head. Sometimes it’s easy to deal with and other times it’s not. It all depends on how I’m feeling that day. My anxiety has a lot to do with it too. I try to make do with the situation I’m in but sometimes it gets to be a little too much. There have been times where I have to go stand in a different room from everybody for a few minutes to collect my thoughts and calm myself down.
Although I deal with this on a daily basis. It doesn’t stop me from having fun. I just have fun in a different way than most teenagers do. I consider myself to be different than most people my age. I want to get this out to tell others who have the same issues that they aren’t alone. No matter how many times you think you’re the only one, you aren’t. Others go through the same thing. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to another person who understands what it’s like, than to talk to an extrovert who has absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I hope others who don’t know what it’s like to feel this way have a new understanding of people who do have these problems, If any of you feel this way and feel like you need somebody to talk to, you can always talk to me.